Pictures in My Head/ Then and Now

Caution: This post is not so much "what we've been up to" as it is thoughtful in its focus. Read on if you want; don't if you are not interested in what I really think about. I am blogging it rather than writing it in my journal because I want to include a few photos.

By Saturday evening, I knew I needed to write about the impressions Friday and Saturday had left me with.

Friday morning I drove down to Winslow (about 30 min south of here) with the kids. We were going to visit Samantha in her new but old house. She had attempted to prepare me for disappointment several times by apologizing, "It needs a lot of work."

The winding tree-filled drive brought us right up her huge west-facing front porch with its big rockers. Out from behind the white picket fence came Sam with her little blondie and her diapered boy. Presumably they were trying to locate their new pot-bellied pig Hank who had wandered into the taller grass on the edges of the property. The inside was just as quaint, with high ceilings and wood floors. This place was built around 1900, she said. Its need of work only added to its charm.

Unlevel floors: check. Only one bathroom: check. Happy family: check.

We spent the morning getting lunch ready. It was so good to be together. Her in-laws and a few extras, Sam's family, and my little brood, made 5 adults, 10 kids, and 2 babies. We ate homemade bread, pesto pasta, corn-on-the-cob, frozen pizza, and fresh salad with homemade dressing. Then things calmed down and I showed Sam how to get started on her family history, the reason I came. The kids played outside.

Just before we left, Josie got stung by a wasp on her right foot. Samantha quickly picked some plantain and bruised it. Then we bandaged it right on her foot to take the sting out. My family has read about this remedy in a couple places, and we've found that it works.

Saturday Patrick and I drove another winding road out to Combs, Arkansas to a Brashears family reunion. The person farthest removed from me was the daughter of the cousin of Patrick's great grandmother. On the way, I thought of how people would describe how to get somewhere back in the day when these ancestors lived there. How did Bonnie Brashears find the one room schoolhouses she would teach at while riding on horseback through tiny towns like Crosses, Patrick, and Combs? "After the big hill, go around three bends of the road"? Or was it, "Drive at a horse's gallop until the sun is at its highest"? People then were so much more connected to the land that they probably took note of landscape details we overlook today. So these kinds of directions probably worked. People were less hurried than now too.

I want to live in a big country house where the kids can play outside. I want to be connected to the land.

I've been working on my own family history lately. I have my pedigree traced back pretty far on several lines and am gathering pieces of these people's lives as I go. The single story I know of my great-grandmother Josephine has impacted my life. Her child accidentally broke a glass, and instead of getting angry, she just swept it up. I have thought about that story many times, and it has made me desire to be that kind of mother.

I want to leave a legacy to my children like what has been left for me. I hope that Patrick and I can create a home of order, kindness, learning, and joy. And I believe we can because years ago, I imagined something like what my life is now. Of course, I didn't know certain details of it, but I prepared for the kind of life I wanted to have. And I have it. I'm preparing today for that future life our family will have. I'd like to live in a big country house with a big garden out back and chickens. We won't want to watch TV or waste time on the internet, because the real stuff will be too interesting. And then inside, there will be lots of books, and maybe the house will need work, but we'll do it because that's why we're here. We are here to learn and work and have a meaningful life. All of our physical possessions may not be cute, but we will manage our resources wisely and we will be happy.

Glad I am to live in a rural area. We're in the city now, but any ten minute drive will take us by cows and hay bales and will make me think of simple times. The wholesome living of yesteryear, when people grew their own food and fixed things instead of buying new wasn't because it was "green"; but because it just made sense.

All of these thoughts have made me more focused on the purpose behind the things I do day-to-day. I'm glad to do it when I know why I am.


I tried to get pictures on the drive home from Combs, but not one was just what I tried to capture. Likewise, my words today have attempted to express with language the pictures in my head, but do not do so perfectly.

But I know what I mean and I will show you by living it.