I do not get to activities often and rarely post but I have so been there. Your kids are almost the same ages mine were years ago when we started homeschooling. My oldest is now 19 and I feel like I lived to tell.
I was big into Waldorf schooling when Alex was young and wanted so much to give him this holistic and natural childhood. In many ways I did but when the baby needed to nurse, it was not uncommon to put a favourite Disney video in.
Much as I am not proud of that, I feel that in many ways my older boys got way more attention than the younger ones have simply because we did very little in the way of outside activities. We were poor recovering students and lived in a large city where getting to things was a burden. We did have a few good friends that we would play group with but for the most part, we would only get to the library.
We had lots of craft supplies but he was not much of a crafter. We had lots of building toys but he was not an engineer. We had lots of dress up clothes and therein lay his passion. He loved to act out his favourite stories and movies (he was Captain Hook 4 years in a row for Halloween). We did only a little school work at that age (for those of you who know me, you’ll know that I mean VERY little since we did very little ever) but we read A LOT. I read all sorts of stuff to my older kids. Good books. Classic stories. I almost never read the newer “kid” literature.
Our life was much simpler then (though I didn’t see it that way at the time). The lack of outside experiences and demands left us to build strong family relationships and influences so that later, when our kids were older and more sure of who they were and we ventured out into the whirlwind of activities that will most surely take over your life someday, we were better able to handle the stress that comes from those endeavours.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t get out. But, that you may want to consider enjoying and reveling in this family time. It does pass VERY quickly and you will be glad that you cherished it. Don’t worry about what he is or is not learning. Right now he is watching you and learning what it is to be a mother, a child, a father. Those are invaluable lessons that so many children do not see because they are institutionalized at such young ages. He is learning how to cook , clean, grocery shop, go to the doctors (when you are not the one who is sick – so much less threatening I may add). Just because he may not be multiplying and reading or doing sentence parsing at 5, doesn’t mean that he is not learning anything important.
And, boredom is often the mother of invention. Don’t feel like you have to entertain him all the time. A two year old sibling (even a sister) can be THE best playmate he could ever hope for because she will love him, cherish him and think the world of him. She will always be there and they will always have this time together to reflect on and draw on for strength throughout their lives as they face challenges together and on their own. Even their younger siblings will never have these same experiences. To be able to share them with someone is invaluable. Nurture that relationship.
Finally, put him to work. Give him responsibilities that he needs to accomplish. We all like to feel needed (but not put upon) and it will give him a sense of accomplishment and self worth as we does those things well and earns your confidence and approval. He is the oldest and with that comes responsibilities and benefits. Let him enjoy them. Anytime he comes and says he is bored, give him a job. You will find that eventually he likes his ways of beating boredom better than yours and will come to complain a whole lot less often.
Good luck on your journey. It is SO worth it.
Debbie Jo
(mother to Alex 19, Joseph 17, Veronica 15, Lizzie 12, and Sam 8. Alex is currently serving a 2 year mission in Wyoming and Utah, Joseph is working on his 2nd year of college and the others are busy working in our family business with their mom and are rarely bored).
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