You may have noticed the blogging hiatus.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed if I can't do something all the way. You know that feeling like, if I'm gonna blog, I need to document everything and make it all look cute and sound amazing? Well, I found myself reading other people's blogs and comparing myself to them. So I backed away from blogging at all.
I generally have a great self-esteem and have always felt really comfortable with my unique-ness. But lately I've been feeling overwhelmed in a few ways and resultantly kind of inferior or at least pressured to be the same as others. A big part of it could be taking care of 4 kids age 5 and under, taking care of a baby at all, being a wife to a husband who is still in school. I'd love to have a schedule every day (well, kind of) where we work on reading, keep the house clean, do a little craft, eat a well-balanced lunch, serve a dinner that everyone loves and the husband is home for, bathe everyone and tuck them snugly into bed etc. etc.
But the reality is that often there are piles of laundry, the house is not as clean as I would like, we didn't work on reading at all, we certainly didn't do a craft, and dirty little feet got hurriedly tucked into bed so I could enjoy some time with the student-husband only to fall asleep during and even saying our nighttime prayer and be awakened an hour later by a sweet baby who is currently testing the sleep pattern and nursing limits. It's hard to have a schedule that accommodates so many perfectly.
My friend Andrea posted recently along these lines. My "amen" to her thoughts will be stated in a list of things I have learned or am learning:
1. Living is more important than blogging. I'm trying to be a better listener and have more personal communication.
2. A schedule/program is for the people and not the other way around.
3. Scriptures and prayer before my feet hit the floor in the morning are not negotiable. It invites the Spirit to be my companion throughout the day, which makes all the difference in my ability and inspiration to succeed and be happy. I have had experiences both ways which absolutely prove this to me.
4. Be me! I really do have confidence that I'm good enough and can get better. As I learned from my friend Samantha, my children were given to me and Patrick to raise. The Lord has confidence in our ability and even our style.
6 comments:
amen.
I think, when you have four children under the age of five, just getting out of bed in the morning is a feat. You know?
I always love your posts, but this one wins the prize.
My mantra lately has been "Be with the people you are WITH"
I don't need to be with people online, on a cell phone, or follow people I don't even know on their blogs or youtube videos or even news stories. Whoever I'm with, I want to give them my attention.
That was wonderful and honest and important for me to hear. Reading blogs can definitely skew our perspective of reality. I see people do all of these amazing things with their children and it's easy to think I'm not doing enough. I like what Becca said-- "be with the people you are with"-- I'm really, really bad at that and should work on it. I get lonely and feel like the only way I can make connections is through the computer. I also like that you said prayer and scriptures are non-negotiable. How do you do that before you get out of bed with a baby? I get up because I hear Elna crying...I don't have time to pray and read scriptures first. And then I forget to do it...just about every single day. Horrible! You are an inspiration to me, Juli!
love it! you continually amaze me mom of 4, husband in school, helping to homeschool, tutoring in spanish... it gets me exhausted just thinking about it. you are AMAZING... remember that EVERY DAY! i have plenty of time to blog but haven't since aug... i will again but in my time. but as a side note i'm still selfish and love reading a blog post of yours. the end. miss you.
Thanks for all the supportive comments- Lucy, it's a short prayer and a scripture verse. I don't get up until someone cries either :)
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